Bless this heart

7 Jan

It has been almost 4 days since my cardiac ablation procedure and I am still feeling the ramifications of it. I love how Dr’s tell you that there are minimal pain and side effects. I have to wonder if any of these Dr’s have actually had one themselves. I also have to wonder what they consider “minimal pain?” I am one tough chick and I am not just saying that… I am. Pain, to me, is a mind over matter issue. I have experienced pain and many times can psyche myself out it; however, this time, not so much!

As I was laying on the hospital gurney in the operating room the anxiety stared to creep in. I looked around and saw 4 other physicians busy with different tasks, at least 5 nurses and techs hurrying in and out, machines and computers surrounding me on both sides. I felt like a scared kid who was wishing her mom was there to hold her hand and assure her that everything would be alright. Funny thing is that my mom was in-fact there, just in the waiting room. Everyone in the operating room was very kind and compassionate. They asked me if I had children and what they were like. They asked about Erik and our up-coming wedding. Basically, they made small talk to calm my nerves. Of course for me, none of the busy chatter really helped much but I appreciated their efforts. The anesthesiologist came to my side and asked me the standard questions… “Have you had anesthesia in the past?” “Did you have any reactions or side effects?” “Are you allergic to any medications?” You know, the normal questions. After answering all his questions, he stepped away for a few minutes… I am guessing to get the medication for my IV. It was in those few minutes that I closed my eyes and simply talked to the Lord. I thanked him for my life and everything that I have. I thanked him for my amazing family and my wonderful friends… then I thought about my precious twin daughters. I thanked him for allowing ME to be THEIR mom. I knew I was not going to die, but when you are having someone tinker with your heart, you can never be so sure. It was in my moments with the Lord that I found peace and comfort. I knew I was not alone in that room, as I am never alone with him.

The anesthesiologist came back to the room and let me know what he was giving me and that within a few minutes I would be asleep and before I could blink my eyes, I would be waking up and the surgery would be over… he was right. I woke up to telling the Doctor I was about to puke. Only me… stay classy Summer. Funny how all the stress and anxiety lasted only a moment. It has made me see that events in life are built up to be bigger and more stressful than they turn out to be. I am by no means saying that I should not have been nervous or cautious about having surgery, I am saying that at the end of the day… I made it much bigger in my mind then it really was. I found peace and assurance knowing I was never alone.

It has been a few days now and I will admit, it was not as easy of a recovery as the Doctors led me to believe. The area where the catheter was is still very swollen and bruised, but I definitely feel better today than I did yesterday! For that alone I am thankful. I am very ready to get back to exercising and being able to run faster and longer. Having a strong and healthy heart is not something to take for granted. I know after all this, I will remember that! The biggest lesson in all of this is that sometimes we cannot control a situation, but we can control how we act in that situation! I found my peace in being silent before the Lord, even in a loud and busy operating room.

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