The Ultimate Rejection Letter

16 Apr

Herbert A. Millington

Chair – Search Committee
412A Clarkson Hall, Whitson University
College Hill, MA 34109

Dear Professor Millington,

Thank you for your letter of March 16. After careful consideration, I
regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me
an assistant professor position in your department.

This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually
large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field
of candidates, it is impossible for me to accept all refusals.

Despite Whitson’s outstanding qualifications and previous experience in
rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet my needs at
this time. Therefore, I will assume the position of assistant professor
in your department this August. I look forward to seeing you then.

Best of luck in rejecting future applicants.

Sincerely,

Chris L. Jensen

I absolutely LOVE this!!! A non acceptance letter of a rejection letter. Looking back at my life there are so many times I wish I would have approached rejection the way this guy did. Staring it dead in the face and saying,“Thanks, but no Thanks! I have had enough rejection in my life so I am unable to accept yours. Yes, it is a humorous response but to me it can be life changing.

 How different would I be today had this been my answer to rejection and the fear of failure? There are several instances I recall even as I sit here and write this,that  I wish I would have felt about myself then as I do now, because I know that I never would have let the rejection from others determine my perception of self-worth.

In a recent study performed by several physiologists, they noted that two of the top fears that affect people today are; the fear of failure and rejection. The fear of failure paralyzes us so that we can’t move forward. We are too afraid to stretch out and try something we are unsure of. Rejection is the fear of seeing how we are loved and accepted and it is simply given to those people around us. How we are seen as lovable? Where do we fit in or belong? How does someone feel about us? All of these things I just listed, give us a false sense of self-worth. Think about it… You meet someone and you really like them, but for them, the feeling isn’t mutual. What happens to your self-worth? I know for me personally, it gets rocked. Let me give you an example.

I remember standing in front of him at the front door of my house. I was in love with him and for a long time tried to make him love me back. Inside I knew it was never going to happen but I still tried. It was the blow that I was expecting but didn’t want to face it when it did. “I will never fall in love with you or marry you,” he said to me. One warm tear after another rolled down my cheek and I allowed those eleven words affect me to the core. Once again, I was seen as unloveable. Something must be wrong with me. Immediately I began thinking it was because I was not pretty  enough, or thin enough. Maybe it was my personality or the kind of person I was. It could be because I had “baggage” and a past! Every possible reason I could think of to validate why this person could not love me or see me as lovable, came to mind. I was heartbroken and once again found myself staring at rejection dead in the face.

It wasn’t until much later that I realized why, for so many years, I allowed the acceptance or lack of acceptance of others to determine my feelings of self-worth. That is where I put my value. If I was loved by someone, then I was lovable, but if  I was not loved by them, then I was unloveable. If I was successful at work or had a lot of friends, then I was lovable and felt valuable but the minute that was shaken; so was how I looked at myself.  If I matched up with the way society said I should then I was worthy of love… What a false perception of worth and this is exactly why for many years, I lived a life feeling that I never matched up and would never be loved just the way I was.

I have come to realize that it is not WHERE I find my value or worth, but in WHO I find my value and worth. Understanding that statement changed my life. The fear of failing and being rejected keeps in a place where we cannot grow. You can’t move forward if you are standing still. Even things that appear real are not,  and that is exactly what FEAR is: False Evidence Appearing Real. It cripples us and it can destroy lives if allowed. Trying to find value and self-worth in things of this world will only leave you like I was standing in front of that boy that night; rejected and feeling as though I was unloveable.

Here is what I love about my dad! I am his Princess. He looks down on me and all he can do is grin! He is so proud and in love with me. He knows everything about me and even that doesn’t change the way he feels about me. He knew me before he created me. To him I am fearfully and wonderfully made and nothing I do can separate that love. That is WHO I find my value and worth in. When I don’t measure up to the standards of this world that is okay, because the standards I do measure up to, Far surpass those of this world. You mess with me and you mess with my dad! Once I understood this…and  really believed it, I began to see that rejection and failure are nothing to fear. In fact, having a self-worth like this allows me to look at rejection and failure and say;”Thanks but no Thanks!” That is not who I am or where my value is placed. I am the daughter of the King and if he says I am valued and loved, then I know… I AM!

Pslam 139:1-24

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One Response to “The Ultimate Rejection Letter”

  1. Twila April 17, 2011 at 2:14 pm #

    Amen and Amen, Sister in Christ!!!

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