Tag Archives: Children

A Mom’s Revenge

20 Dec

Prior to meeting my husband, I was a single mom working full-time. I loved my job but it was not until just recently that I realized how many things I have missed out on with my older twins. I missed school plays, field trips, helping out in the classroom and all the other things that happen in the middle of the day while I was working.

Monday night, Ashlyn told us that her school was having a “bring your parents to lunch” day. Immediately the wheels in my head started spinning. I looked at my husband and said, “Oh we are going!” I wish I could have taken a picture of Ashlyn when I said this, because instinctively she knew this was not going to end well for her. “Mom, please just go and be the cool mom.” With a very devious grin, I nodded and agreed.

I picked up my cell phone and sent a message to my friend Renee, who I remembered recently ran the Vegas half marathon dressed up as Mrs. Clause and her husband as Rudolph. I asked if we use the outfits for Wednesday’s “lunch” and she delightfully said, YES.

If you have teenagers or know a teenager, you realize rather quickly that this stage of their lives is always hard on parents. It seems as if almost overnight, your once sweet little prince or princess, grows horns, an opinion and makes it their personal mission to humiliate you. Mine are no exception. So, when planning my little scheme, I simply wanted to “re-pay” the favor.

I remembered that my step-dad usually dresses up like Santa every Christmas. I sent him a message asking if he, in fact, had a Santa suite. His simple response made my heart jump for joy, “Yes, I do.” I asked if Erik could borrow it, and he said of course. This was getting better and better. Santa and Mrs. Clause making an appearance at Ashlyn and Breanna’s middle school… Pay back at it’s finest.

 On Wednesday morning, I met Erik in the school parking lot with the Santa suit. It took everything I had not to wet myself as I watched him put it on. I was really enjoying this… So, with lunch in tote, Mr. and Mrs. Clause marched into the lunch area at Woodland Park Middle School.

erik santa

Within minutes, teachers, other parents and kids, were laughing and commenting. It is amazing to me how even 12, 13 & 14 year-olds can get totally giddy when they see someone dressed as Santa. With my giant bell wreath, I began to make a bunch of noise and started to search the area for MY kids. I brought a bag of goodies and within seconds, all the treats I made had vanish. Kids were loving this, as was I, and Mr. Clause, but what about my girls….

From the corner of my eye, I spotted them. I began to make my way toward my kids and Erik started to yell, “Ashlyn and Breanna… Ho, Ho, Ho.” It was pure comedy. I had to at least try to get this on video, so I did my best to capture the reaction of the girls, especially Bre, since Ashlyn already knew some of the plan. Although the video is not the best quality, I was able to get the moment Bre started to cry once she realized the large man dressed as Santa and the woman next to him with the loud bells, were her mom and step-dad. It was PRICELESS. (You can see for yourself here)

bre crying

Once the shock wore off, and they realized we brought them lunch from their favorite place, they actually enjoyed what we had done for them. I really wish that I had been given more time to plan, because I would have orchestrated a full on flash mob, to their favorite 1 Direction song, but I think we did a pretty good job!

santa

When they got home from school, I was pleasantly surprised when the girls came in telling me that we were a total hit. Even the Vice Principal made some comments to them about what we did. Kids were telling them how “chill” and “cool” their parents are.  In the end, what I really wanted was for both the girls to have a special memory about that day. Yes, I wanted to embarrass them for all the things they have done to us, but more than anything, I want them to look back at this day when they are older and smile, knowing that we did this for them because they matter to us. (Even if what we did was publicly humiliate them… that’s what counseling is for.)

I am taking advantage of the little things I can do to deposit special memories into the lives of my girls. I was not always able to show up in full costume at 10:20 for “bring your parents to lunch day,” but I can now and that is not something I will waste. Before I know it, they will be grown up and on their own and I know what we do now, will matter then.

Many Blessings ~ Summer

photo 2

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What you NEVER say or ask a mom of multiples (or ANY mom for that matter)

18 Sep

This is a real conversation that took place at Costco today:

Lady: Ahhh, are they twins?

Me: Yes.

Lady: Both girls? (Hints the reason they are wearing dresses and giant bows in their hair)

Me: Yes.

Lady: Wow, they don’t look-alike! (Now, she wants to become observant”

Me: No, they don’t.

Lady: Do they have the same father? (Insert crickets here)

Me: Okay, have a nice day.

And with that, her Q&A session was over.

I know that I always joke around about some of the questions, comments and advise I have been given over the last 13 years, but what I am about to write here is by no means a joke. In fact, if you are one of the people who feels that it is your God-given duty to stop every pregnant woman or mom pushing a stroller and ask her questions, let me make this VERY clear… IT IS NOT. In fact, just as soon as you are out of her sight… She is cursing the fact that she ever met you and your barrage of questions. Trust me, I do it almost every time I take the twins out in public!

So, I am here to help you. Yes, that is right. I am here to ENSURE that you are never cursed but rather praised by moms everywhere. To do this, I have created a little “guide” of things you are to NEVER ask another mom, expecting mom, woman or even a turtle. But if you are like my mother, and you always feel compelled to talk, I have added what you SHOULD SAY. (Please note, all the questions and comments I am writing about, have been asked or has been told to me over the last 13 years. And because I have two sets of twins, most of these are geared toward multiples.)

DISCLAIMER: I personally feel that you should simply smile and keep on walking anytime you see a random stranger!!! Remember “Stranger Danger?” (just saying’)

Ok, here we go.

Never EVER under ANY circumstances ask following:

* When are you do? I mean really why do you care? Unless you are planing on buying her a gift or bringing her dinner after she delivers her bundle of joy… it is not your concern. And what if she is not pregnant? Ouch. Keep walking.

* Did you have them vaginally? This one is always a favorite, because every unnecessary question requires an unnecessary and uncomfortable answer. No, I gave birth through my BUTT.

* How long were you in labor? Because this is usually followed by a story about your labor experience… don’t go there. Most moms (especially with multiples) dread going out… have VERY limited time… and have no idea who you are, so your labor story is pointless on every level.

*Are you nursing? Only if you are willing to help out and lend an extra boob should you ask this one. If not, then IT’S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!!!

* Did you conceive naturally or have “help?” Unless she is “Mary” something tells me she had help one way or another, so save yourself from getting the “She deserves the STUPID card”… and never ask this one please!

*Were you trying to get pregnant or was this a surprise? Again, why would anyone care? How is knowing this going to make you a better person after you get the answer? EXACTLY.

* (When there are two) Are they twins? Okay, if they look like they might be the same age… are dressed alike… or have shirts on that say, “Thing 1” and Thing 2” common sense is going to tell you, YES they are probably twins. (Most fraternal twins do not look-alike. So again, use your brain and just observe the above noted hints, this might help you conclude, yea, they shared a womb, but look different.)

* Do you have a boy and a girl? Or if there is just one… is it a boy or a girl? USE YOUR EYES! Here are some helpful ways to determine the sex of the child… If they have earrings… probably a girl. If they have a bow in their hair, or in my kid’s case, glued to their head… probably a girl. If they are wearing a shirt that says, “Daddy’s little man” or “Mommy’s big boy”… probably a boy. If they are dressed in yellow, green, or grey and do not have earrings, a bow, or a lot of hair… don’t ask at all… that one is a hit or miss and I say when in doubt… just keep walking.

* Are they identical? If you were dumb enough to ask the question noted above, and the patient parent was kind enough to answer, and tells you one is a girl and one is a boy… use the process of elimination… they are not identical. If they are both the same sex, but look nothing alike, again… process of elimination. Just save yourself the shame.

* Do they have the same father? Ok, really? I don’t think I need to explain this one… but hey, if you are dumb enough to ask that; ask if they have the same mother too.

* Are you planning on having anymore children or are you finished? Again, unless this information is going to be life changing for you personally… why do you care? You are wasting time that poor mother can never get back.

BONUS TIPS: Here are just a few comments that most moms of twins really don’t care about or need to know!

* I am a twin. Good for you. You deserve a gold star.

* My mom’s grandma’s neighbors daughters friend… has twins. Well gosh darn, wish I could welcome her to the club.

* Oh you have “Double Trouble.” Thanks for pouring salt on an open wound!

* Your poor husband. Screw You!

*I bet you never sleep. You’re right I don’t. I am a vampire with insomnia.

* Wow, you look really good for just having a baby (or babies) I know many think this is complimentary, but it is not! In fact, it just a reminder that we have a “you just had a baby/babies” body.

* You are so blessed. Yes, any parent is, but when you are beyond sleep deprived, wearing the same outfit for three days in a row, smell like poop while draped in spit-up, and can’t really hear what you are mumbling because the echos of screaming are ringing in both ears… blessed is not the word we feel and really just want to punch you in the face 🙂

Now, what TO say:

NOTHING

How about you just open the door for her when you see her struggling to maneuver the big ol stroller with a screaming baby or babies inside and then kindly nod and KEEP WALKING. This my friend, (AND MY MOM,) will speak volumes. It will say that you actually DO know someone with twins or a baby, and they have given you the “guide-book” and you have followed it. It will say you respect her privacy and that you have your own life and don’t need to be a “Nosey Nancy.” So, unless a mom starts a conversation with you… be her hero, and just let her get in and out of wherever she is.

One day I will write a book and possibly take my act on the road. Until then, I will keep educating people (MY MOM) with comedy and charm. And for the over sensitive reading this… I am only kidding. I LOVE all your questions and comments, and your advise… is priceless. HA HA HA

Many Blessings~Summer

This is a picture taken today… and I think Reese’s expression sums up her’s and my frustration to the
Father comment. Love it!

Today’s “To-Do” List

28 Aug

My life is busy and sometimes can be flat-out-chaotic. Between two 9-month olds who are now very mobile and two teenagers, there are moments I feel like 24 hours in a day is NOT ENOUGH. However, in the craziness of today I will do the following:

  • Tell my children I love them more.
  • Write my husband a love note.
  • Extend an extra dose of patience to someone I want to throw a shoe at. IE… my teenagers.
  • Vacuum less (Okay who am I kidding? That wont happen)
  • Smile more.
  • I will not be so hard on myself. Instead be the best I can be.
  • When I want to complain, I will thank God for something he has given me or done for me instead.
  • I will make today count. I may not be an important executive of a prestigious company or have a bunch of letters after my last name; but I am the CEO of the Elliott Household. I am a busy and important woman in my own little bubble, so today, I will not take that for granted.
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